15 Ways You Know You are Emotionally Intelligent

75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.
— Center for Creative Leadership

If you watch the news at all (and believe me I try not to!) you can see how hard it’s becoming for individuals to get along with each other.  This is no different in business.  I continually get more and more requests for coaching to help leaders learn how to work more effectively with others and on teams.

This week’s blog is dedicated to understanding what emotional intelligence is.  Depending on who’s definition you use (I am certified in 2 tools), there are 27 or more competencies that make up emotional intelligence.  Here are 15 way you know that you have emotional intelligence:

  1. You show empathy by accurately understanding the feelings and emotions of others.
  2. You ask open ended questions.
  3. You take a moment to think before responding.
  4. You think about feelings, yours and others.  You think about what’s going on for the other person and can identify the root cause of your emotions.
  5. When you receive negative feedback, you ask how can this help me improve instead of becoming defensive?
  6. You are ethical and have a moral compass that leads your life.
  7. You are humble, and you show this by apologizing.  Apologies are free except to the ego!
  8. You don’t hold grudges.  You forgive and move on.
  9. You know your strengths and weaknesses and are trying to shore up areas where improvement is needed.
  10. You are resilient and are willing to deal with setbacks.
  11. You are optimistic and have a positive outlook.  You don’t let 1 bad moment ruin your day.
  12. You set boundaries so that you do not get burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed due to too many commitments.  
  13. You are self-motivated and have high personal and professional standards, striving to higher standards of excellence. 
  14. You are flexible and adaptable and are not set in your ways.
  15. You effectively negotiate and resolve disagreements orchestrating win/win solutions.

How many were you able to check off the list?  Are you curious about why I included some of these on the list?  Drop me a line and let’s chat.

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.
— Dale Carnegie